What happened to "Sisterhood?"

I hear more and more women say they do not have friends…women friends…and I wonder how do they survive, live? I wonder what happened to sisterhood. I think I wouldn’t be alive without my sisters (I know you say way to dramatic but I am for real). If not physically I would be like almost emotionally dead without them.

What has happed to women that we cannot trust, confide in or love one another? I am not sure. For me I haven’t experienced such betrayal from my girls that I would want to cut them out of my life forever…Who the heck would I talk to if I “exed,” my girls. I mean I know I said I talk to my man about everything but…y’all he tries to fix everything I tell him…I mean he’s great but he is still a man.

I thought I would share with you some positive friend experiences and hope you have successful friend relationships also…Cause to me friendship is a vital part of me being successful in my life. I may have killed one of my children without my friend…and…I may not have finished college…or left my lying cheating abusive husband…more importantly they may have been left in some bad situations without me…

So, I have several categories of friendship and relationships… first is my super support team, secondly, are my close friends that I love to talk to and hang out but they are not on speed dial in case of a crisis. Third are the people that I want to have fun with but we really don’t share intimate details with each other…I would say, our relationship is a bit shallow…however, we are there for one another if we need each other…and finally, it’s the people who, I don’t expect them to be there for me but I don’t mind being there for them.

My super support team is like you ain’t ever leaving me, every time I have crisis or good news I call you first …this is only about five people. They are cheerleaders, correctors, accountable partners and teachers…This group gives me hugs, love on me and pop my butt when I need it… I call them super because they must be to deal with me and keep me in line for years.

Now my close friends are people I see on a regular basis. I hang out with them I would eventually tell them the serious stuff in my life if I think they can handle it and I would be there for them if they need me. This group is pretty small in size. I believe I only have seven people who fit in this category.

Now the more causal relationships have a lot more in a group. The third group however is the group where people transition in my world. This is where I define what type of relationship we will have.  In this group I am very careful what I disclose to them.

Finally, because I understand that not everyone in the world can be of service for me, but I can be of service to them. I have this final group. In this group would be people that I care about and would assist them if I can however I am not expecting anything in return.  These people I understand they really cannot give me much because of the position they are in and I need to accept that. And I cannot be so self centered and selfish to be its just about me…I need to understand the limits of the people I love.

Understand the limits of the people we love maybe the answer to the question I asked earlier. What has happen to sisterhood? I believe we don’t really look at the people in our world, accept them for who they are and place them in your world based on an accurate assessment. It’s my belief that we have some unrealistic expectations on our sisters. For example I am not going to tell someone in group 3 some private information and expect them to keep their mouth closed when they not only tell all their business to everyone but their close friends also.

Its our responsibility to pay attention to the people we have in our lives….assess them determine where they should be in your world and love them for just that…Also, another thing I believe has happened to our “sisterhood” is that we are so easily offended.  Some people don’t want to hear the truth about themselves….and when some one tells us the truth we get mad at them and never speak to them again….

If that’s the case no wonder why you don’t have any friends…I wouldn’t want to tell your butt nothing too if everything I did so you stop talking to me for days…keep an open mind and be teachable. Understand that some people may have better experiences and actually know what they are talking about despite your beliefs…

It hurts me to know that people are alone in a hard cold world trying to fight it alone…Am I my sisters keep? You got that right and my brother’s keeper! Cause if there is power in numbers then I am side by side fighting with them and not against them.  I'm loving and not hurting…I am encouraging and not badgering…

I hope that if you lack support and friends in your world. You think about what I said and try and find yourself some healthy relationships that will enrich and empower you to stand strong and be the best you can be…then…play it forward…