Awaken

I made it!
With feet planted on the ground and
Shouting victory from the top of my lungs
I am victorious.
Death wooed me
It tried to seduce me
with cycles of my past, but
I’d a glimpse of my future.
My destiny revealed itself, and
It’s mystical rewards were greater than
any pain I was feeling.
So, I stop feeling sorry for myself and decided to live.
Not just for me but for
Those who allowed misery to kiss their cheek.
Placing them in a sleep
Neva to awaken from their reoccurring nightmares.
I see dead people and
They don’t know they’re dead.
They’ve found a life of complacency
Refusing to think outside of the box
Allowing others to set their limits, or just
Acquiescing to the past failures
Not me.
I let it go.
I’m free as a bird
Nothing holding me back
Not even walking dead.
Feeding lies to each other, saying
You can’t do it and
You’re far too extreme.
Hell yeah I am
Because death tried to seduced me
It wanted to put me out of my misery
But then I saw purpose and that was far more
Rewarding.
So, I awaken from my reoccurring nightmare
And decided to be me.
The victoriously victor I am.
©2014 Leola Bellamy ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Woman Indeed

Woman in her purest form lays heart open.

Her gentleness is like a cool summer breeze sweeping across your face.

Her strength comes from her desire to carry the world in her womb

Thus travailing for the success of all she loves.

She chooses to shield you with love

Understanding loves does conquer all,

Hopes all,

Endures all,

She gives all, while simultaneously protecting you with exhortation.

On lookers admires her overcoat of peace and kindness

Radiates from her like the Mississippi River flowing into the Atlantic Ocean.  

Her scent of transparency leaves an aroma of crisp linen blowing in the midday sun.

She is a well-defined woman,

Secure in the essence of her femininity

Beloved by all,

Revered by most she holds her head high

And struts the most,

Even before her haters.

Careful not to speak an evil word as she understands her regal.

Queen of her environment, reigning with wisdom and gaining knowledge

Empowering, educating and inspiring all those around.

She is a lioness in her natural inhabitants devouring her foes, yet feeding her young.

A force to be reckoned with, an anomaly to most.

She is a woman that knows the essence of her femininity.

Allowing her king to lead she follow with glee.

A prowess in her femininity

She is woman indeed.

© Copyright 2015 Leola Latonya Bellamy. All Rights Reserved.  

Silence defined by a broken heart.

Silence

awkward

necessary for my sanity

yet

torturing me.

I still stand in silence.

Not saying a thing and

careful that my actions

don’t contradict what I’m feeling

still I refuse to mime

to a broken hearted love song,

so I do nothing.

I do nothing outwardly

but inside there’s a war zone.

Frankly,

my love for you side is winning

and the truth is I’m angry because it’s so strong.

I guess I never realized when I made the decision to love you.

It’s so beyond out of sight,

out of mind

or pressing the rewind button

and everything reverses to where it was before…

When you were my boy toy,

for lack of better term.

When my heart didn’t burn because you weren’t there…

  

So,

now I’m stuck with you,

most likely for the rest of my life,

you in the fiber of my being,

flowing in my blood like you belong here

demanding squatters’ rights

refusing to be evicted.

I’m stuck with thinking of you

when I do those little things you did that I thought was mundane…

and because the tears are going to flow as Niagara Falls,

I take a quick pause and do nothing.  

I stand in silence and hope the pain go away.

We weren’t known for quickies

and I’m not sure why I thought this healing process would be different.

It’s been almost six months

and you’re still right here with me

as if you had never told me,

we weren’t working.

After which I had to force feed,

Breath

and sleep for months

because

I really couldn’t see living one moment without you.

To this day

I’m trying to survive one day at a time.

So, I just be.

I try

to love myself

plan time with family and friends…

you know, doing me.

I try very hard not to think about you.

I try not to picture your smile at that very moment he cracked a joke that I know you’d laugh,

and I fill that space with nothing.

Now here is a laugh,

I call myself moving on

because this is been too long,

you’re unknowingly holding my heart captive.

I give myself audience to another.

Now, I’m afraid that no one will ever find a place in my heart

because it’s occupied by you,

with a note saying belongs to another.  

Not because you were all that great,

or the most compassionate,

or even the nicest man in the world…

But it’s because I decided to love you.
Which made you perfect.

And because I’m a slave to my decision

I do nothing but stand here

pray that someday

I can simply have a day without thinking of you.

I forgive me for the broken heart

I try and

piece my shattered life together without you.

Until I can do that…

I'll continue to do nothing.

I'll stand in the shadow of silence.

Well, except for this written word…